Think your child is fine? Ask them these 5 questions tonight

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As parents, we often limit our interactions with our kids to the surface level. Questions like “How was your day”, “are you hungry” or “Have you done your homework”, are part of our everyday lives.

While these questions and interactions are important, they do nothing to simulate your child’s thinking capacity, and prevent them from opening up to a larger conversation with you.

However, growing children need to be constantly interacted with, not just for their brain development, but also to make them feel valued, and listened to.

Here are 5 questions that you should ask your child tonight, that go beyond the cliches…

1. What was the highlight of your day?

This question is deeply important as it helps your child focus on positive moments, and relive through the day to come with one happy memory. It also gives you insight into what they enjoy most, whether it’s a subject at school, time with friends, or a favorite activity. Listen carefully to their answers and show excitement for their happy moments.

Why it matters: Knowing what makes your child happy helps you encourage those activities and build a stronger bond.

2. Did anything make you feel sad or upset today?

Children sometimes keep their worries to themselves, thinking that their parents might not understand them. By asking this question in a gentle way, you show your child that it’s okay to talk about difficult feelings (or even feel upset or angry) If they mention something, don’t rush to solve the problem right away. Instead, listen and let them know you understand.

Why it matters:Talking about sadness or worries can help your child feel supported and less alone.

3. Is there anything you wish you could change about today?

This question gives your child a chance to talk about regrets or things that didn’t go as planned, such as an activity, interaction with a friend etc. It can reveal if they are facing challenges at school, with friends, or at home. It also teaches them that it’s normal to have ups and downs in life, and that they should learn from their mistakes.

Why it matters:Understanding what your child wants to change helps you guide them in problem-solving and managing disappointments.

4. Did you help someone or did someone help you today?

Encouraging your child to think about kindness and support builds empathy. Their answers can show you how they interact with others and how they feel about giving and receiving help.

Why it matters:Recognizing acts of kindness helps children value positive relationships and feel proud of their actions.

5. What are you looking forward to tomorrow?

Ending the conversation on a hopeful note helps your child focus on the future. It also gives you a chance to learn about their interests, plans, or any worries about the next day. It will also inculcate the art of planning in your child.

Why it matters:Looking forward to something keeps children motivated and positive.

In the long run

This apart, you must also schedule weekly check-ins with your child, providing a safe space for them to voice your concerns. These include:

Have you ever felt ignored by us? If yes, how?

Where do you think we can do better as parents? (don’t worry if their reply is trivial according to you)

Is there something you deeply fear? How can we make it better for you?

Is there something you want to tell us, but are not telling out of fear?What is your cause of worry? (today, or any other day)