PICTURE: SUPPLIED
After winning the SAFTA Best Actor and Feather Award for Hunk of the Year, Thembinkosi Mthembu returns to ‘Adulting’ Season 3 as Bonga Tembe.
Bonga is newly married to Nkanyezi (Londeka Sishi), but things aren’t as smooth as they hoped. While Bonga’s eager to start a family, Nkanyezi’s focused on her career. The clash of goals raises the big question: Was Bonga ready for marriage?
Zibuyile Dladla sits down with Thembinkosi to dive into Bonga’s complicated marriage and his friendships with the other guys, who are facing their struggles.
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At the end of Season 2, Bonga marries the woman of his dreams, but their honeymoon is short-lived when they realise their goals for starting a family are misaligned. How did this happen so early in their marriage?
Bonga and Nkanyezi’s current problem highlights a lack of communication and selfishness. Bonga wants to start a family quickly, influenced by the shortcomings of his absent father.
He desperately wants to prove that he’s a great man and will be a great father. However, when Bonga and Nkanyezi decided to marry, they didn’t have a clear conversation about their expectations regarding starting a family.
If they had discussed this openly, they might have avoided this mess. Now, they’re two bitter adults heading toward disaster.
Additionally, Bonga thought that marriage would help him change his infidelity tendencies, but miscommunication with Nkanyezi has only pushed him back into his old ways.
Art imitates life. How did your real-life marriage influence your portrayal of Bonga’s marriage?
It influenced me in many ways, especially regarding communication and balance. In marriage, both partners need each other to ensure a healthy relationship.
My wife was also a huge help while preparing for this role. It was fun to see if I could provoke a reaction from her in the same way Bonga might from Nkanyezi.
What advice would you give to couples, based on your experience as Thembinkosi and playing a character like Bonga?
To men, take things one step at a time. In today’s world, especially in KZN, there’s immense pressure on men.
Many of my friends have struggled with these pressures, feeling like failures if they haven’t reached a certain level of success or if they’re not attracting women.
We need to return to the basics – like our fathers who worked simple jobs and provided for their families without societal pressures. If we do this, we can grow and become better men and fathers.
Also, if a woman no longer loves you, let her go. There’s no need for abuse, whether verbal or physical. Let her go, and don’t hold on to someone who doesn’t want to be with you.
To women, be kind. Don’t generalise men based on your experiences with others. If your partner is trying, acknowledge that effort. Also, don’t stay in a relationship for material benefits. If you’re unhappy, leave. Don’t stay out of convenience or fear.
Lastly, be kind to yourself and take breaks from social media – it can be a negative influence.
If ‘Adulting’ were to continue, do you think Bonga would have ended up like his father, or would he have taken a different path?
Bonga shares the same problem as his father – infidelity. He struggles to be different but is constantly battling these urges. He wants to be a better husband and father, but at the moment, he’s failing.
Words: Fame Frenzy
