How to deal with South African aunties when they ask 'When will you marry?

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They almost always think nobody’s life is complete without a spouse and a child. So, they’ll come at you with the question “when will you marry?”

If you’re a South African adult (especially female, let’s be honest), this question is more inevitable than load shedding.

No matter how successful, brilliant, or peaceful your life is, there’s always that one aunt who treats your relationship status like it’s her prayer point.

The question is, how do you handle this annoying question without coming off as disrespectful?

Here’s an ultimate guide that suggests many cool ways to deal with it. Let’s get right into it.

1. The polite deflection

They’re your aunties and maybe uncles. Of course, we all know better than to be rude or disrespectful in this kind of relationship. So, it’s often better to choose the polite route. Smile sweetly and say:

“God’s time is the best.”

It’s vague. It’s diplomatic. It makes them pause – because who can argue with divine timing? It buys you several more months until the next family meeting.

2. Hit them with the reverse psychology

Turn the table gently with:

“Ah aunty, you haven’t found someone for me yet?”

This strategy always works because it leaves them with a realization that you’re also their responsibility. If you can’t get a suitor yourself, they should help you find one. So, they begin to scan all their memories for the names of the children of their rich friends. Use this as a cue to find your escape route before they turn to guilt tripping.

3. Use career as a human shield

For those who want a more serious tone, try:

“Right now I’m focusing on building my career/business/spiritual growth.”

Say it with confidence and a small smile. While they want you to start a family, they also respect ambition. So they’ll likely calm down and let you be for the meantime. At least, you’ve bought yourself some meaningful time.

4. Drop the “soft drag”

This is for advanced players. Try a light jab cloaked in sweetness:

“Aunty, you married early, but did that stop your husband from stressing you?”

Then laugh and change the topic. This one’s risky but extremely satisfying if timed right. It doesn’t only jolt them back to reality, it is also a gentle reminder that you’re now old enough to think for yourself.

5. Quote the economy

Blame the economy – because honestly, it deserves it.

“I’m still trying to afford my own rent, how will I now pay bride price?”

This one usually earns a round of understanding nods or a silent stare of defeat. They know the economy is bad, and they’re not even ready to contribute. So they’ll likely leave you before you ask them to sponsor your wedding.