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We’ve all heard the term “white lie” tossed around—those seemingly harmless fibs we tell to spare someone’s feelings or dodge a bit of awkwardness. However, what exactly defines a white lie? Is it just a little sugarcoating, or does it risk real consequences?
In the quest to keep things smooth, white lies can feel like kindness, but they can also blur boundaries and alter trust in unexpected ways.
Whether it’s telling your friend you “loved” their cooking or giving a polite “I’m on my way” when you’re still at home, these tiny untruths can have a bigger impact than you think. Let’s look into what makes a white lie tick—and when honesty truly is the best policy.
Honesty is often taught as the best policy, but it resides more in theory than practice, states the Psyche publication. On average, people tell one or two lies daily, often ‘little white lies’, because at that moment, the truth is seen as harmful, unnecessary, and inconvenient, and lies are seen as seemingly inconsequential and morally justified.
This belief in honesty, according to the above source, has been proven wrong and harmful, with the costs far greater than imagined.
According to Psychology Today, the term “white lies” was first defined in 1741 in The Gentleman’s Magazine, contrasting it with black lies.
“So it seems, they characterised white lies as being nothing more than harmless fibs told in the service of embellishing tall tales. The use of the white prefix owed to historical associations of white with purity and goodness, while black and darkness carried connotations of malevolence and evil.”
The above source continues to mention that what makes the lie white is the motivation behind it, claiming that researchers discovered four main motivations for people to tell white lies: tact, psychological compensation, power deference, and relational stability.
It is stated that people tell lies to be polite, protect their fragile image, avoid appearing insubordinate, and maintain relational harmony.
Also see: How to handle a child’s lying addiction
