What to do when your friends hate your partner

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It can feel worrying when your friends can’t stand your partner. You love them. You’re happy. But your friends?

They roll their eyes when you mention their name, avoid double dates, or worse, openly say, “I don’t like them.”

Suddenly, you feel torn between the people who’ve known you for years and the person you’re building something romantic with.

So, what do you do? Do you defend your partner and distance yourself from your friends? Or do you break up just to keep the peace?

The answer is not that simple, and honestly, it shouldn’t be. Relationships are messy. People are flawed. And sometimes, the ones we love don’t get along.

If you’ve found yourself in this awkward spot, don’t panic. We’ll walk through the reasons your friends might hate your partner, what to do about it, and how to protect your peace.

1. Ask yourself: Is there a real reason they dislike your partner?

Before you go full “my friends are just haters” mode, take a deep breath and think: Did they see something I missed? Sometimes, people outside the relationship can spot red flags you may be ignoring.

Maybe your partner is rude, controlling, disrespectful, or makes you cry more than laugh. If your friends are noticing patterns that genuinely hurt you, they might just be looking out for your happiness. And even if they’re not perfect in how they say it, their concern could come from love.

But… if the issue is something petty, then maybe it’s more about clashing personalities, not actual danger or toxicity.

2. Talk to your friends, like really talk

It’s easy to get defensive when people criticise someone you love, but this is the time to listen, not argue. Ask your friends what exactly bothers them. Try not to interrupt. Let them explain themselves fully.

Sometimes, clearing the air helps. Maybe there was a misunderstanding. Maybe your partner said something that came off badly. Or maybe your friends just need time to get used to them.

Don’t assume it’s war just because there’s tension.

3. Talk to your partner too

Now flip the coin, your partner also deserves a chance to express their side. Do they feel unwelcome? Judged? Ignored?

Don’t go bashing your friends, be honest when having that heart-to-heart. Sometimes, a little extra effort, kindness, or patience from your partner can help ease the awkwardness.

4. Set boundaries if things get toxic

If your friends are constantly bashing your partner, trying to make you break up, or being rude every time you’re together, it is not okay. You don’t have to choose sides, but you do have to protect your peace.

Let your friends know that you respect their opinion, but you need them to respect your relationship, too. If they can’t, it’s okay to take some space until they can be supportive or at least civil.

Side note: Your partner and your friends don’t need to be best friends. As long as they can be respectful and cordial, that should be enough.

5. Trust your gut

At the end of the day, you are the one in the relationship. You wake up next to your partner, not your friends. If you feel happy, safe, respected, and loved, and there’s no sign of abuse or manipulation, you’re good.

But if deep down, your friends’ concerns echo things you’ve been ignoring, pay attention. Sometimes, the truth we avoid is the one we most need to hear.

At the end of the day, love isn’t always black and white.

If both sides are mature and open-minded, things can improve. But if they don’t, remember this: You’re allowed to create your own path, even if it doesn’t make everyone happy. Just don’t lose yourself in trying to please either side.