The ever-changing nature of contemporary relationships often brings in new terms.
‘Chameleoning’ means to completely change one’s personality, behaviour, and even opinions to adapt to varied social settings or to impress a partner. While adjusting to each other’s requirements is an inevitable part of strengthening the bond, over-changing core elements of oneself can be unhealthy for the relationship to be healthy.
Chameleoning usually results from a need to be accepted, liked, or to prevent conflict. When applied to a romantic relationship, chameleoning can result in the loss of individuality and authenticity. Rather than developing true connections, ‘chameleoning’ produces a mask that can prevent emotional intimacy and trust. Eventually, it can result in dissatisfaction, frustration, and confusion as partners become confused about the other person’s real self.
Low self-esteem or fear of rejection are often among the common reasons that people become chameleons in a relationship. Such individuals may feel that their true self is not acceptable or their partner will reject them for who they are. This can lead to an unhealthy cycle of continuous self-concealment, where the chameleon keeps changing how they behave for their partner, losing their real identity in the process.
1. Constantly changing interests and preferences
If one finds themselves frequently altering their hobbies, tastes, or opinions to match those of their partner, it may be a sign of chameleoning. True compatibility involves appreciating each other’s differences and finding common ground, not straight away obeying to one another’s likes and dislikes.
2. Having a fear of disagreement
Avoiding conflicts and always agreeing with the partner, even when one genuinely disagrees, is a red flag. Healthy relationships progress on open communication and respectful disagreements, where both partners feel heard and understood.
3. Suppressing the emotions
Constantly hiding the true feelings or avoiding expressing the emotions to keep the peace can be a sign of chameleoning. Emotional honesty is necessary for building trust and intimacy in a relationship.
4. Feeling lost or confused
Feeling unsure about one’s own identity or struggling to recognise oneself outside the context of the relationship, may be a sign that the person is chameleoning. It’s important to maintain a strong sense of self and personal identity.
5. Developing a validation-seeking behaviour
Relying heavily on the partner’s approval and constantly seeking validation can be a sign of low self-esteem and chameleoning. Building self-confidence and self-worth independently of one’s partner is important for a healthy relationship.
