Actor Sicelo Buthelezi. Picture: X
Local television shows have been responsible for bringing light and educating South Africans about issues that are affecting society for a long time. To continue this tradition, SABC 1’s Skeem Saam has aired a controversial episode that touches on how quickly and easily the lines of consent can be blurred.
This storyline follows the characters of Nstwaki, who is played by Lethabo Mekoa and Toby, played by popular actor Sicelo Buthelezi. Toby has been found guilty of raping Ntswaki after it was revealed that she and Tobi shared intimate moments, that involved an intense kissing session, however after seeing that her family had been trying to get ahold of her, she wanted to go home.
Instead of allowing Nstwaki to go home, or take her home himself, Toby opted to convince her to rather stay which resulted in them going all the way. The case gets even more complicated when it is revealed that Ntswaki lied to Toby and told her she was a university student, instead of revealing that she is actually 15 years old.
This episode has caused a frenzy on social media and has revealed a lack of understanding of the concept of consent. Some users believe that Toby was wrongfully charged as Nstwaki not only lied about being underage, but also agreed to visit Toby’s place, and went as far as kissing him. According to these users, Toby assumed consent was given, due to Nstwaki’s willingness to participate in other activities.
It’s hard to be a man in this country. We just witnessed a miscarriage of justice here!!
He got deceived into thinking she’s a Varsity student, she initiated the sex, regretted it and cried rape.
This is a sad reality of men in this country!#SkeemSaam pic.twitter.com/IapD5elfjy
— Roṋewa Mathephe (@Ronewa_Mathephe) October 16, 2024
What did we learn?
1. Consent can be revoked anytime.
2. Toby knew Ntswaki wanted to go home but he coerced her to stay. That is not consent.
3. Ntswaki was not reciprocating in the sexual act. Toby admitted it. That is not consent.Case closed! 🧑🏽⚖️#SkeemSaam
— 𝙰𝙺 𝚄𝚉𝚄𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙸 🦊 (@Akhona_PQ) October 16, 2024
Countering this, the others argue that although Nstwaki agreed to go home with Toby, consent can be withdrawn at any point, which she did, but Toby insisted she stay. Furthermore, they argue that her age does not come into factor as Toby was unaware.
Skeem Saam is trying to teach your sons about consent and that something like that could lend you in jail. It is teaching a lot of gents that taking a girl home with you doesn’t mean she’s consenting to sex and if she stops you stop or you’ll end up in jail #SkeemSaam 🤷🏽 pic.twitter.com/aHptzUhQGb
— Shotgun (@KingDon_za) October 17, 2024
“It was very much unfair the judge didn’t take into account the girl’s actions and the testimonies of the witnesses .. 15 years is very harsh,” a Facebook user says.
This episode and the controversy surrounding it have revealed a need for awareness of such issues to be taught at the grassroots level. Sexual education and life orientation in schools need to cover consent and its implications more in-depth and thoroughly, as it has been revealed that many people do not have a clear understanding.
Also see: Oscar Mbo apologises to Kharishma after kicking her off stage mid performance
