5 nonsexual ways to build intimacy with your partner

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Intimacy in a relationship isn’t solely about physical affection; it’s about fostering a deep emotional connection, trust, and mutual understanding.

While physical intimacy plays a role, nonsexual ways of connecting are equally important for a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

Here are five nonsexual ways to build intimacy with your partner:

1. Engage in meaningful conversations

Open and honest communication is a cornerstone of intimacy. Take time to share your thoughts, dreams, fears, and aspirations with your partner.

Ask them about their day, their feelings, and their goals. Active listening, where you truly focus on understanding their perspective without interrupting, can help you both feel heard and valued.

Pro tip: Set aside a regular time each week for deep conversations, away from distractions like phones or the TV.

2. Spend quality time together

Shared experiences strengthen bonds. Whether it’s cooking a meal together, taking a walk, or pursuing a hobby you both enjoy, quality time fosters connection. It’s not about the activity itself but the intention behind it—being fully present with each other.

Pro tip: Plan a date night or a weekend activity where you both can relax and enjoy each other’s company.

3. Show appreciation and gratitude

Acknowledging your partner’s efforts, big or small, can significantly enhance intimacy. Express gratitude for the things they do for you and the relationship. Compliments, thank-you notes, or even a simple verbal acknowledgement can make your partner feel cherished.

Pro tip: Start a gratitude journal where you note things you appreciate about your partner daily or weekly and share it with them.

4. Practise nonsexual touch

Physical touch doesn’t have to be sexual to be intimate. Holding hands, hugging, cuddling, or even a gentle touch on the arm can communicate love and care. Nonsexual touch helps release oxytocin, the “love hormone,” which strengthens emotional bonds.

Pro tip: Make it a habit to greet each other with a warm hug or hold hands during a conversation or walk.

5. Build rituals of connection

Rituals—daily or weekly habits—can create a sense of stability and closeness. These could be as simple as having morning coffee together, a weekly film night, or even a bedtime routine that involves talking or reading together.

Pro tip: Identify an activity or routine that holds meaning for both of you and make it a consistent part of your lives.

Building intimacy is an ongoing process that requires effort, patience, and commitment. By focusing on these nonsexual ways to connect, you can deepen your emotional bond and foster a relationship built on mutual respect and love. Remember, intimacy thrives when both partners feel valued, supported, and genuinely connected.